Have you ever been so upset and disgusted that you just shut down? This last week and a half have been too much for me and today I just couldn't take any more. I literally just shut down. I quit trying to save face and play nice with my MIL. I just kept to myself and helped my kids but I finally had to tell my 10 year old that I couldn't take any more and I needed her to just do what she was told and stop arguing. She has been upset by this last week and a half too. How would you like to be a guest in someones home where you have to ask for every little thing you do...even get a drink of water. This is just so they can't come back and say, "Where is the glass you used?" I have felt like a prisoner in my MIL house especially because of my kids. It doesn't feel very good to know that she disapproves and thinks badly of my children.
Have I said that I'm ready to go back home?
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
You gotta know when to walk away, you gotta know when to run...
At this point and time I am about ready to run as far away from my MIL's house as possible and contemplate never coming back! How can a woman who raised my wonderful husband be as domineering and controlling as she is??? How can she listen to her son and still think that we don't know what we are doing when it comes to raising our kids. She actually had the nerve to say that our kids where pretty much heathens and she is afraid that her grandkids are going to grow up and be horrible!!! That woman has crossed the line. It makes me almost ill to look at her. She is so high and mighty and telling us that we aren't doing our jobs as parents and then has the nerve to be wounded when my husband tells her how mean she can be and how she talks down to everyone.
We have been away from Alaska for about a month and a half and we are all ready to go home. The horrible thing is that we are planning on moving back to Indiana after we graduate but now I think that there is no way that I want to live that close to her. I hate to feel that way but I can't help it. I have decided to apply at Purdue and IU and see what happens. I think that 2 hours away is just close enough to make a day trip but also far enough to keep them at a safe distance. I am really starting to feel a bit mean about the whole situation so I better keep it to myself and just pray about it.
It appears that we have been here long enough to see why we moved away in the first place. Good thing that not all of our family makes us feel this way!
Also I am still having food problems. I can't quite figure it out and I am going to request an endoscopy for them to biopsy my small intestine to see if I have celiac. When I eat sugar it has been hurting my stomach and it is possible that soy is too. Life is such a bummer sometimes! I think not knowing is the worst part!!!
Oh, and on a positive note...Groban promised us a vblog this weekend! It is Sunday night so I assume it will be there when we wake up in the morning. :)
We have been away from Alaska for about a month and a half and we are all ready to go home. The horrible thing is that we are planning on moving back to Indiana after we graduate but now I think that there is no way that I want to live that close to her. I hate to feel that way but I can't help it. I have decided to apply at Purdue and IU and see what happens. I think that 2 hours away is just close enough to make a day trip but also far enough to keep them at a safe distance. I am really starting to feel a bit mean about the whole situation so I better keep it to myself and just pray about it.
It appears that we have been here long enough to see why we moved away in the first place. Good thing that not all of our family makes us feel this way!
Also I am still having food problems. I can't quite figure it out and I am going to request an endoscopy for them to biopsy my small intestine to see if I have celiac. When I eat sugar it has been hurting my stomach and it is possible that soy is too. Life is such a bummer sometimes! I think not knowing is the worst part!!!
Oh, and on a positive note...Groban promised us a vblog this weekend! It is Sunday night so I assume it will be there when we wake up in the morning. :)
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Staying on task & summer craziness
It has been way too long since I have written. However, this comes as no surprise to me. I am the kind of person who decides to start a journal and writes in it a couple of times a year or will do good for a week or so and then fall back into my normal routine. I thought that because this was faster...I can type instead of write that I would do better but NO! Actually, I have done better because I have written about some of the major events and it occurs every couple of months. Well, I'm back to write and it has only been 2 months. :)
This summer we left Alaska and are spending it with our family in Indiana. We did this for 3 reasons. 1) My Dad died in November and we wanted to help my step-mom fix things and move out of their house. 2) We can't afford to live in Alaska during the summer on student salaries. We had the hardest time paying for rent and daycare - even when we both worked full time jobs. 3) We wanted to spend time with family and friends without the craziness of coming for a few short weeks like we did the Christmas of 2008. Weeeeeeell, things don't usually turn out the way you envision them and this summer has been no exception. We are spending time with family and friends and we have been helping my step-mom but Ian and I are also taking online classes. He is taking 6 credits worth and I am taking 10. Yeah, it hasn't been that much fun. My classes are interesting but I would much prefer to NOT take classes on my break in-between semesters. It's a sure way to get my brain leaking out of my ears. LOL! The positive things about this summer are that we have had time to really see our families and our children have gotten to spend time with them also. I got to see my baby brother graduate from high school and we get to reconnect with our church family here. My little sister just got engaged and I get to be here to celebrate with her and her man. We have taken lots of pictures and will have them to treasure for the next year when we go back home to finish our final year of school. Some of the negatives are that I got into a fight with my MIL for the first time in almost 12 years of marriage. And it is VERY difficult to split your time between family members and not have someone with their feelings hurt. That resulted in me crying from frustration and my feelings being hurt because we have tried so hard. I hardly ever cry so you can imagine how upset I was.
We have been on a journey to understand how to deal with and train our daughter on how to behave in a non confrontational and respectful manner. It seems that we may finally be on the right track after some much needed advice from other parents who have been through the same thing. It is difficult to be a parent when you don't have the tools or example from your own childhood to help.
So amid all the fun and craziness we putter along doing the daily tasks that need to be done and try to savor the experiences of this summer and spending it with those we love.
See you in a month or so ;)
This summer we left Alaska and are spending it with our family in Indiana. We did this for 3 reasons. 1) My Dad died in November and we wanted to help my step-mom fix things and move out of their house. 2) We can't afford to live in Alaska during the summer on student salaries. We had the hardest time paying for rent and daycare - even when we both worked full time jobs. 3) We wanted to spend time with family and friends without the craziness of coming for a few short weeks like we did the Christmas of 2008. Weeeeeeell, things don't usually turn out the way you envision them and this summer has been no exception. We are spending time with family and friends and we have been helping my step-mom but Ian and I are also taking online classes. He is taking 6 credits worth and I am taking 10. Yeah, it hasn't been that much fun. My classes are interesting but I would much prefer to NOT take classes on my break in-between semesters. It's a sure way to get my brain leaking out of my ears. LOL! The positive things about this summer are that we have had time to really see our families and our children have gotten to spend time with them also. I got to see my baby brother graduate from high school and we get to reconnect with our church family here. My little sister just got engaged and I get to be here to celebrate with her and her man. We have taken lots of pictures and will have them to treasure for the next year when we go back home to finish our final year of school. Some of the negatives are that I got into a fight with my MIL for the first time in almost 12 years of marriage. And it is VERY difficult to split your time between family members and not have someone with their feelings hurt. That resulted in me crying from frustration and my feelings being hurt because we have tried so hard. I hardly ever cry so you can imagine how upset I was.
We have been on a journey to understand how to deal with and train our daughter on how to behave in a non confrontational and respectful manner. It seems that we may finally be on the right track after some much needed advice from other parents who have been through the same thing. It is difficult to be a parent when you don't have the tools or example from your own childhood to help.
So amid all the fun and craziness we putter along doing the daily tasks that need to be done and try to savor the experiences of this summer and spending it with those we love.
See you in a month or so ;)
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